Balance

I am a pacifist.
To a certain point.
Then I am done because sometimes I want to hurt people.
I do.

But the people I want to hurt are people who are bigots or ignorant or spreading hate in some way to people who don't deserve it. Or people who hurt animals or the environment for no reason other than the fact that they can. People who have given in to the darker side of our animal nature. And especially the ones who disguise their hatred, their bigotry and ignorance, behind a figurehead like Jesus or the church.

Those are the people I want to hurt. I want to beat them in the face until the meanness is just pounded out of them. I do realize that there are people who say that this is probably no better than what they are doing, but I think that that is a cliche.

I am a balanced individual. I love the world, I love people, I love animals and nature. I love exercise and art. I love writing and taking photographs and making people smile. I love my partner of five years and I love the fact that I feel comfortable enough with him to be myself, no matter how stupid and silly that may be.

However, I still have the capacity to get angry and I do, often.

I get mad at injustice, I get mad at politics, I get mad at the monetary position of myself and capitalism in general and the fact that I am stuck in a retail job. I get angry when people kick dogs and burn rain forests. I get angry when people don't use their blinkers when driving. I HATE bigotry, homophobia and racism.

Children make me smile and War makes me sad.

Like I said, I am a balanced individual. I do not believe that anyone is inherently good or evil. I believe that everyone is born with the capacity for both and we have a choice where we take it. Our choice in this matter would be decided by our experiences and how we are socialized as children, as would every other choice we make in our lives.

I do not believe that a conflict can ultimately be decided by turning the other cheek. I believe that this is a good way to start out, but I am a firm believer in defending yourself when provoked. Someone lashes out at me and I will take it until I cannot take it anymore.
Then I will put them in their place.

I get mad in the movies and television shows when the hero has the really bad guy right where he wants them and he won't pull the trigger because it would "make them no better than the people they are trying to stop."
Just kill him because we all know what is going to happen. The hero isn't going to do it and the bad guy is going to SCREW them over so bad that there is going to have to be a sequel or an entire second season to clean up the mess that the hero could have prevented if he had just PULLED THE FUCKING TRIGGER!

If I am in a position like that where I am fighting for my life or for my beliefs and I have the chance to pull the trigger- I am going to do it. Some might consider this crossing over to the dark side.
I call it balance, and if someone attacks me I am going to fucking fight until they are on the ground- or I am.